I turned 28 last week.
This past year has been one of the most humbling, clarifying, and quietly transformative of my life.
It’s the year Ben and I packed up our lives to live abroad.
The year I learned to sit with uncertainty while holding onto dreams that felt impossibly fragile.
In honor of another trip around the sun, here are 28 lessons collected over the years—stories I’d share with my younger self if I could, and truths that continue to shape me today.
Take your time, save your favorites, and let me know which ones resonate.
001. The life you’re building is worth fighting for – even if it looks nothing like you imagined
Building a life you love isn’t a Pinterest board of perfectly laid plans. And the path to getting there can be messy and frustrating.
There have been so many steep dips and literal detours, especially in my physical adventure abroad. I’ve learned the hardest part isn’t dreaming big—it’s staying committed when the dream feels fragile, when it takes longer than you thought, or when it looks nothing like the linear journey you’ve hoped for.
But now, I can see that it’s less about believing everything will work out perfectly and more about deciding it’s worth showing up anyway.
002. Rejection rarely feels kind ― but it can move you somewhere safer and better…eventually
This year, I collected rejections like postcards, each one stamped with disappointment and signed, “xoxo, better luck next time, loser.”
People love to say rejection is just redirection, and I’d resist the urge to vomit every time I heard it. Because it’s hard to believe that when the better opportunity, client, or relationship hasn’t come around.
One rejection hit especially hard.
I’d spent hours preparing and jumping through hoops for an opportunity I thought was my next step.
When they said no, it felt personal—like I wasn’t good enough. I spent the new few weeks drenched in self-doubt, wondering if I’d ever see the redirection everyone kept promising.
It took time—longer than I wanted—but eventually, a better opportunity arrived. One that not only aligned with my skills and values, but created ease in ways the original one never could.
But sitting in the in-between—waiting for the redirection to show up—wasn’t easy.
Here’s what I’m learning: rejection rarely feels kind while you’re in it. It stings. It steals your breath. And sometimes, there’s no neat redirection immediately waiting on the other side.
But when the better path does appear—whether days, months, or years later—you realise that every no might’ve been the world’s way of moving you toward somewhere safer, somewhere better.
003. You might not want the goal you’re striving so hard for
This year, I sat in a room full of business owners who were making 10-20 times what I do.
And I wanted that for myself, too.
But as they shared the realities of their success—the endless meetings, the teams they manage and have to pay for, the pressure to keep scaling—
I learned they had little room for freedom that I get to enjoy right now.
So much of life is tinged with longing for better, more, the things we don’t have.
But turns out, we don’t always want the reality of what others have. We want the idea of it.
I’m learning, slowly, that life isn’t about having it all. It’s about knowing what matters most to you in the season you’re in—and being okay with letting the rest go.
004. If you don’t see role models in your community, find a new one
The people around you shape your perspective, your ambition, and your sense of what’s possible.
For so long, I struggled to see women in creative professions do well (outside of corporate roles) simply because I never saw them. I was part of a community where women making money was rarely talked about and success meant marriage and kids.
And while I want those things too, I realised it was also ok to want something different.
So I started looking elsewhere. I found women who were earning really well, running businesses with integrity, and balancing family life on their own terms.
And I started to see it was possible for me too.
If your current environment doesn’t reflect who you want to become, it’s okay to expand your circle.
005. Nothing beautiful is born without a mess
Like stains on an apron and paint splatters on the floor, anything worth creating is going to involve spills, chaos, and failures. For every polished result you see, there were 10 terrible drafts, a folder full of deleted files, and a heap of ideas that never saw the light of day.
But if there’s mess, there’s progress. It means you’re on the way to figuring stuff out. And I’d rather be a chaotic mess if it means I’m on the way to creating something beautiful ― than stuck in a clean environment.
006. Invest in quality materials
That $40 polyester sweater might look cute, but it won’t keep you warm—and it’ll probably make you itch and sweat. So don’t be afraid to spend money on higher quality items (like a 100% cashmere sweater), even if the price tag stings a litte. Your future self (and your laundry pile) will thank you.
007. Doing things differently can be lonely
I felt it when I started my business instead of following the 9-to-5 path. And I felt it again when Ben and I left Australia.
People didn’t get it. Why trade stability for uncertainty? Why choose self-employment over a steady paycheck?
Conversations shifted. I had fewer things to talk about with friends who were climbing corporate ladders, buying houses, or starting families.
Doing things differently also triggers people. It challenges their choices, sometimes in ways they don’t realise.
“You’ll come back when it doesn’t work out.”
“Why risk so much?”
“It must be nice to just… drop everything.”
And over time, the check-ins grew quieter.
But I’m realising: it’s okay to feel the loneliness. It’s okay to grieve the distance between your path and everyone else’s. Because the path you’re carving is yours. It doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s.
It also makes space for the people who do get it—the ones who see your choices not as threats but as courage.
And those people? They’re worth the wait.
008. Pain exists to teach you a lesson
Pain is a brutal, honest teacher. You learn more from the bad leaders, the bad friendships, the bad relationships, the bad decisions. It shows you who you don’t want to be—and, if you’re paying attention, it shapes you into someone better, someone more compassionate. It’s what pushes you to grow, to set boundaries, to choose differently next time.
009. Your creations have impact ― even if it feels like no one’s watching
There have been so many moments when the metrics drop, engagement slows, and I catch myself wondering, What’s the point?
Then I remind myself: impact can’t always be measured with a double-tap or a comment—especially now, with so much lurking and doom-scrolling. People are tired. It takes energy to reply.
But that doesn’t mean your creations aren’t making a difference to someone.
You’ll never know who’s quietly pocketing your words for a rainy day or drawing strength from something you created. So show up. Keep creating. The people who need what you have might not always tell you, but they’re there.
010. You’re doing better than you think
Chances are, you don’t suck. You may not be the best, but that doesn’t mean you can’t use the skills, gifts, and talents you have to contribute to the world. Give yourself credit for the things you’ve done and remember that there’s always someone who’s ready to receive what you have to offer.
011. If you don’t define your version of success, other people will do it for you
Success is sneaky. It has a way of showing up as someone else’s voice in your head. And you can find yourself chasing after something that leaves you feeling hollow once it’s in your grasp.
Yes, take inspiration from other people’s version of success. But taking the time to define what you want and why you want it will save you from a ton of heartache.
Your version of success is also allowed to change from season to season. Right now, for me, it success looks like being location-independent, working with a select few clients on less time-intensive projects, developing my own products, and having space to write more personal essays.
012. The more people you include in your wedding the more you have to juggle other people’s feelings
The bigger the wedding, the more feelings you’ll juggle, the more you’ll put other people ahead of yourself, and the more you’ll be tempted to forget your own priorities and wants. If I could go back in time, I’d tell myself not to get caught up in should’s. At the end of the day, it’s about you, your partner, and the commitment you’re making to each other—not the opinions of everyone else.
013. You’ll break your heart if you never ever try
Every bold risk I’ve ever taken has been filled with fear, mistakes, failure, and even shame. It’s led to nights spent crying on the bathroom floor and overwhelming waves of anxiety.
But I’m glad I took the risks.
Because what’s even scarier is the idea of not trying, not taking the risk, and living with the “what ifs.”
It’s better to wrestle with discomfort than live with the heartbreak of wondering what could have been.
014. The biggest, life-changing decisions never feel big in the moment
I used to think those pivotal moments would come with confetti and a giant neon sign saying, This is the moment everything changes.
But looking back, the moments that shaped my life were quiet and ordinary. Like:
Accepting a last-minute invitation to a dinner party where I met my now-husband.
Saying yes to a semester abroad, which gave me the stories I needed to start writing for myself.
Publishing my blog to an audience of 0, which turned into a business ― one that has funded my honeymoon, led to international speaking gigs, and the opportunity to live abroad.
No fanfare. No signs. Just small actions with ripple effects I couldn’t see at the time.
015. FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real
Someone once told me this, and it’s stuck with me ever since.
It’s what I think about when I remember all the times I’ve spiraled—reading too deeply into emails, assigning meanings where there were none, misinterpreting events, overanalysing texts, and using it all as proof that I wasn’t enough.
Not every thought you have is true, and not every fear deserves your belief. Sometimes, fear is just a story we tell ourselves—one we can choose not to listen to.
016. Take people off the pedestal
I’ve lost count of the times I’ve built someone up sky-high in my head—imagined them as cooler, smarter, or more inspiring than anyone else—only to meet them and realise they’re just… ok.
People rarely live up to the expectations you build in your head—and that’s not always their fault. Pedestals distort reality. They make it harder to see people for who they really are—flaws, failures, and all. So take people off them and just meet them at eye level.
017. Speak up—even when your voice shakes
This year, I finally had the courage to speak up to the people in my personal life whose actions caused so much pain—not just to me, but to others too.
It wasn’t perfect. My emotions ran high, and I wasn’t as eloquent as I’d hoped to be.
But I called out the harmful behavior. I pointed out the cracks in their system. And even though they became defensive, took no responsibility, and firmly believed they were in the right, I know I did my part.
Because sometimes, speaking up isn’t about changing someone else—it’s about refusing to stay silent in the face of harm. It’s about honoring your own voice and standing up for what you know is right.
Courage doesn’t guarantee a neat, satisfying outcome. But it does ensure that, even if nothing shifts on their end, you can look back and say, I didn’t stay silent.
018. Love equals peace
For years, I thought love was supposed to feel like fireworks. I thought it wasn’t “real” unless it made my heart race and gave me emotional whiplash.
Then I met Ben.
He didn’t just tell me he loved me—he showed me. In the small, everyday ways that make all the difference: remembering the details, leaving notes, showing up without hesitation.
(And with big gestures too: like writing & illustrating a children’s book to propose)
There were no games, no guessing, no emotional rollercoasters. Just steady, dependable, quiet peace.
Real love feels safe. It lets you be fully seen and fully known without fear. It’s not flashy or loud—it’s calm, steady, and choosing each other, even on the hardest days.
Pick the person who rallies for your dreams, makes you laugh in the middle of an ugly cry, and brings you peace. Every single time.
019. Legacy takes time
When we visited the Sagrada Família in Barcelona, I was struck by its incompleteness.
Construction began over 140 years ago, and even now, cranes still tower above its spires. Gaudí knew he wouldn’t live to see its completion. But he started anyway by laying a foundation for others to continue long after he was gone.
Beautiful creations take time and legacy isn’t built in a sprint.
Just like bamboo, which spends years growing its roots underground before shooting up over 90 feet in weeks, the progress you can’t see is often the most important. The dreams we’re building take years of unseen effort before they bloom.
So if it feels like you’re moving too slowly, maybe it’s because what you’re creating is meant to last.
020. You can’t control what people think of you—so stop trying
When I was younger, I obsessed over whether I was too much or not enough. And no matter how hard I tried to tweak, tone down, or tailor myself, people formed their own opinions anyway.
Some people are still carrying (outdated) perceptions of me based on mistakes I made or the person I used to be. And while a part of me still dies inside at that thought, I’ve accepted other people’s opinions are not my responsibility.
So post the dancing reel. Launch the messy project. Say the thing you’ve been holding back. Do what feels true to you—even if someone, somewhere, doesn’t get it.
Because the only opinion you can control is your own, and the only approval you really need is yours.
021. Be a beginner as often as possible
This year, I started learning Spanish for the first time.
A part of me imagined I’d be charming the locals by Day 2 with my fluent español. *hair flick*
Unsurprisingly, the first time I opened my mouth to actually speak, I fumbled over the words, got a blank stare, and quickly blurted out, “Never mind!” before reverting back to English.
It was a humbling reminder that everyone starts off with fumbles and fails. And that’s okay. It forces you to admit you don’t know everything and risk looking a little silly. But it’s also how you grow.
022. You don’t need to monetise every hobby
Not every passion has to turn into a side hustle, and not everything you create has to be for the public either.
Two years ago, I picked up watercolouring and painting—just for fun. Outside of a few family members and what I’ve chosen to share on my disappearing Stories, no one’s seen my work, and that’s been the best part. Without the pressure to make it perfect or share it online, the act of creating has brought me so much joy. So let yourself paint, bake, garden, or dance badly—just because it makes you happy.
023. The best ideas come when you step away
The best ideas don’t appear when you’re staring at a blank page—they find you in the shower, during a walk, or in the middle of a conversation. Creativity thrives on space, so give it room to breathe. Step away and let the ideas come to you.
024. That said, deadlines are a creative’s best friend
While stepping away creates space for ideas, nothing kicks creativity into gear quite like a deadline. It forces you to show up, even when you don’t feel ready, and proves that sometimes the best work comes from simply starting.
025. The little wins are just as worth celebrating as the ‘big’ ones
For a long time, I only popped the metaphorical confetti for the big W wins. I thought the little w wins were just consolation prizes, and I’d wonder why I felt so deflated, so discouraged.
Turns out, the little wins matter more than I realised. They’re the quiet reminders that progress is happening.
So celebrate the email reply, the new subscriber, the fact you found a parking spot. Life feels so much fuller when you do.
026. A bad haircut grows out
Literally and metaphorically.
I’m still scarred by the time an enthusiastic hairdresser cut my hair way too short and I had to show up at school the next day with a haircut that can be described as “bowl adjacent.” I was 14, an age where I was already deeply self-conscious and the mean girls were mean-girling. So yes, it was the worst day of my life at the time.
Thankfully, hair grows, scars fade, and mistakes are temporary. And now, I’m extra firm with hairdressers about how much they’re allowed to snip off.
027. You are worthy of good things
For years, I carried a story that good and beautiful things were reserved for everyone else but me.
It felt true when friends found their ride-or-die partners while I struggled to hold a conversation with my crush past “Hi.”
When business peers celebrated six-figure launches while I faced yet another donut day ($0.00).
When it seemed like everyone else’s story was unfolding effortlessly while mine felt stuck on the same frustrating page.
It’s taken constant and repetitive work to unlearn that story.
Your path might look different, and your timing might not match the people around you.
But how boring would it be if we all got the same things at the same time?
So keep going, even when it feels like you’re falling behind. Good things are coming for you too.
028. The most meaningful growth happens in the in-betweens
This year wasn’t about fireworks or grand celebrations—it was about quiet, ordinary moments that added up to something extraordinary.
It was in the rejections that forced me to pivot. The long walks where I finally let my mind rest. The conversations that lingered longer than expected. The dreams that looked nothing like I imagined but still asked me to show up anyway. The projects that didn’t happen but created space for more travel.
If I’ve learned anything in 28 years, it’s this: life isn’t just about the big wins or the loud moments. It’s in the pauses, the pivots, and the messy in-betweens where the real magic happens.
And that’s what I’ll carry with me into the next year.
Enjoyed this post? You’ll also love this one: Goodbye to 25.
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